Blame
Today my mum and I had a fight.
We were talking about how I used to be bullimic. We don't talk about this very much. The last time we did, it ended up the same way. Tears and shouting.
You blame me! she said.
I said, No, I don't blame you. I don't blame you.
You blame me, she said. You should blame yourself.
Oh. Ouch.
I'm so hurt I can't find a way to tell her that I thought that's what bullimia was all about. Blaming yourself.
We were talking about how I used to be bullimic. We don't talk about this very much. The last time we did, it ended up the same way. Tears and shouting.
You blame me! she said.
I said, No, I don't blame you. I don't blame you.
You blame me, she said. You should blame yourself.
Oh. Ouch.
I'm so hurt I can't find a way to tell her that I thought that's what bullimia was all about. Blaming yourself.
posted by Riona at
8:46 AM
1 Comments:
Riona, I have never had to deal with bullimia, but I have dealt with depression. Somehow, I think the same principle is there in that one cannot understand it unless they personally have had to deal with it. You know, like when you are depressed and people tell you to just get up and get act together. Don't they understand that if you could, you would?
Well, somehow I think that this is probably an issue that your mum cannot understand, and it is frustrating to her and she probably says things in her frustration that she really doesn't mean.
I know that does not ease the hurt girl, but try to understand that it was not that she wants to hurt you, but most likely she is trying to figure this thing out... and she can't.
Anyway, I am still praying for you. It seem's to me that you are searching for something with real meaning in your life. I hope you find it, and may I suggest to you that you look toward God.
I'm not talking religion. I hate that stuff. I am talking about a personal relationship with him through his Son, Jesus.
He's there..., if you will just look you will find him.
By
Darrell, at 10:21 PM
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